Self Love

Is self-love going well for you? I am pulling it along because I am searching for clarity. I was tired of being sick. The last twelve years have been a challenge. I have had two strokes, mobility problems, open heart surgery, congestive heart failure, knee replacements, nerve damage, and five spine operations. So, again – I was so tired of being sick and seemed to be stuck at seeing a benchmark but never reaching it. Life is circular, going around as we gain life experiences. I was “into” crystals back in the eighties, and in 2020, I had a divine revelation that I learn how to heal myself. I purchased a chakra pendant to wear and took Reiki and healing crystal classes. I didn’t know the five pillars of Reiki. Still, that intuitive voice in my head said that the practice of Reiki was necessary for my recovery. So, I was almost manic. I bought a massage table so that I could share healing with others. I got sidetracked and did not spend time on my self-healing.
The chakra or crystal healing class is based on introspection, and I identified three areas that needed attention. They were my root chakra, heart, and throat. I became good at living in my truth, but the root and heart chakra are not optimal. It became apparent that I did not love myself as I should, and I needed to come to feel comfortable about self-love.
How do you have self-love without becoming narcissistic or in doubt because you are accused of thinking that you are cute? Am I ugly – what about loving that? The crystal class forced me to begin the process of self-love because if I can love myself, I am becoming self-aware and able to share myself more fully. Does self-love make you selfish? I am compassionate and often put the needs of others before myself. Will caring more for myself give me self-value and worth, and self-respect? Yes, because self-love will elevate my being and open the flowers that contain my greatness.
I remember bad choices, and I am trying hard to forgive myself. Once dismissed, self-love will permeate. We tell kids that they are perfect the way they are, and we must believe what we say because we are perfect and excellent. Self-love has one of the highest energy vibrations, and it leads the way you present your love to the universe.
Even though I knew that my heart chakra needed uplifting, I thought my energy was that far off. A balanced heart chakra allows for peacefulness with others and the world. But an overactive heart chakra puts others before your own needs. That is me – in fact, I apparently have a martyr complex which was set when I attended Catholic school more than 50 years ago. Martyrs and saints are placed on a pedestal, as seen on their remembrance days. I also desire to please, which can be a bit schizophrenic because I want my actions to be looked at as a gift, even when I don’t feel the best about the action. An underactive heart chakra is in contrast with the amplified heart energy. There are feelings of sadness and depression, which I have had at times.
I have a lot of work to do. My affirmations are “I love myself” and believe that “I am perfect.”

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